Changing Negative Self Talk

Carmen Littlejohn speaks about the mental and physical effects of negative self talk. Watch the video or read the transcript below.

Often, I hear people blaming their husband or blaming their children or blaming their boss or coworkers for stuff that’s happening to them, but what we often find through the process work is that the abuse is not happening often from their husband coming home in a bad mood, usually there’s an inner self talk, that their abusing their selves all the time with.

That they’re not good enough, that they didn’t work out, that they ate a piece of chocolate, that they’re dumb, that they’re ugly, that they’re not skinny enough, whatever these things are, that the negative self talk inside of them is actually the abuse that they’re dealing with on a daily basis.

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When our thoughts are sending that message to us, our bodies are going to be reacting as if we’re in a fight or flight situation, as if someone’s attacking us and we need to run for our life. Then I see their adrenals high, I see these responses in their body, as if there’s danger, and the danger is that there’s a voice in their head abusing them all the time.

The way we want our husband to talk to us is the way we need to be talking to ourselves. That takes practice because often the negative self talk is on such an automated system we don’t even realize it’s happening, it’s like a program that’s running in the background.

Mindfulness is a great tool for self talk because when we go into meditation, it’s about observing what is happening in our internal world, we’re observing the thoughts that we’re saying to ourselves all the time and we’re making an effort to instead of having negative self talk, turn that around into positive self talk. Our thoughts are always creating our realities, so when we’re talking negative to ourselves all the time, our nervous system is reacting to that abuse.

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We see people with high adrenals, with adrenal failure, with stress reaction, with a short temper that act out and get angry at other people who become very defensive at the idea of someone criticizing them. The reacting to the internal negative self talk, when the internal self talk can be positive, we can often find a calm place inside of us that then we can translate into a calm place outside of us in the world.

For help changing negative self talk, call 416.921.CARE (2273) or send us a message.

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